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What would you do if I sang out of tune?

The topic of this is friendships. The train of thought began with the question: Why is it that the happier you are with your own life, the more petty people around you who are going through a rougher period tend to become? That in reminding those people that you aren't a fair weather friend they respond by either turning the jerk waaaaay up to prove you wrong, or in opening up and sharing a little of their pain and feeling a bit better about themselves, remembering why friends are good and you should treat them well?

I've decided that our own happiness can be a sort of occam's razor of friendship. Whatever happens when you are willing to share it with those who are not in such a good place offers a small, but needed proof for a solid friendship.

I think the same can be said of depression. When I've gone through bad times, people have gone out of their way to renew friendships to me by taking time out of their lives to let me know I'm supported and whatnot.

And again on the other side of this, in the past I've had people try to (and some succeed at) take advantage of me in a weak and possibly self-destructive state.

It's the highs and lows of life that often define who we are to people, how we handle them and what they are willing to expect/reject/accept.

In the end, it is not who I am to others that defines me, but it is an important part of my life. Am I a good brother? A good son? A good fiancee? Will I make a good husband, or perhaps father or even grandpa one day? And what about a good friend? To whom am I a good friend and to whom am I an aquaintance, buddy or 'ex' something?

The answer is, I have a handful of close friends, a decent circle of friends that I can pick up with after who-cares-how-many years as if the other just stepped out of the room, and quite a few friendly aquaintences that I might spend hours with every week but I won't be telling my darkest secrets too (or asking theirs) unless something changes. I value all of those kinds of friendships, they all have their place and each may evolve into this and that over time, which is fine.

Recently I've been thinking a lot about friendships, as getting hitched tends to make you evaluate things. These are just a few of my thoughts, many that I've had and voiced before, but are getting dusted off.


Dude I am your friend no matter what. Yes it was dumb of me to move to Kansas, but it taught me where home is. Now wish me luck in getting a job up there so I can move back.
Thanks I'll need it!

May 2012

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